wiki_ghostguild/content/curriculum/PS Guides/7-conflict-resolution-collective-care.md

# 7: Conflict Resolution and Collective Care

## Pre-session

- Review Baby Ghosts' [Conflict Resolution Policy](https://publish.obsidian.md/baby-ghosts-corp-docs/Public/Policies/Conflict+Resolution+Policy) before session – this is the template participants will adapt for homework
- Check in with your studio about how their compensation discussions went; any friction that came up is useful for this session

## **What happens in session**

The heaviest session. Studios learn to reframe conflict as data (not failure), distinguish structural from interpersonal conflict, and practice behaviourally-specific feedback. Key tools: the Loving Justice framework (Brave? Kind? Honest? Humble?), the intent/behaviour/impact model ("stay on your side of the net"), and the Window of Transformation (zones of activation). The session covers multi-directional accountability, escalation as care, and the idea that trust comes from repair, not avoidance.


:::warning
**Before this session:** review Baby Ghosts' [Conflict Resolution Policy](https://publish.obsidian.md/baby-ghosts-corp-docs/Public/Policies/Conflict+Resolution+Policy). Check in with your studio about how their compensation discussions went – any friction that came up is useful material for this session.

:::


### :eyes: **Your role during session**

- Observe how your studio responds to the conflict reframing – relief, resistance, or discomfort can all be informative
- Watch the activity closely – are they able to use behaviourally-specific feedback or do they slide into judgments?
- Note whether anyone identifies conflicts they've been avoiding
- Pay attention to body language during the accountability discussion – who checks out? Who leans in?


### 👆 **Your role after session**

- Check in with each studio member (even briefly, via Slack) about how the session landed
- Make sure they have the link to Baby Ghosts' [Conflict Resolution Policy](https://publish.obsidian.md/baby-ghosts-corp-docs/Public/Policies/Conflict+Resolution+Policy)
- If any studio member seems activated or upset, reach out directly. This session can surface real pain.


## **This week's Studio Support Meeting: Conflict Policy and Practice**

### **📚 Materials**

- Baby Ghosts' [Conflict Resolution Policy](https://publish.obsidian.md/baby-ghosts-corp-docs/Public/Policies/Conflict+Resolution+Policy) and [Procedures](https://publish.obsidian.md/baby-ghosts-corp-docs/Public/Procedures/Conflict+Resolution+Procedures)
- Loving Justice framework reference
- Window of Transformation zones reference


### :world_map: **Context**

This PS meeting has two parts: (1) helping the studio name an avoided tension, and (2) reviewing the conflict resolution template together. The order matters – naming a real tension first gives the template review practical grounding. But read the room. If the tension-naming conversation goes deep, let it run and abbreviate the template review. The real work is the conversation, not the document.

This may be the most emotionally demanding PS meeting. Be prepared to hold space without trying to fix everything.


### **👆 Before the session**

- Review the Baby Ghosts conflict resolution policy and procedures yourself – know the structure well enough to guide a discussion
- Reflect on what you observed during the session and the compensation discussion last week – is there an unresolved tension you've noticed?
- Check your own readiness. If you're carrying a lot from your own studio or personal life, be honest with yourself about your capacity to hold space today.


### **🌊 Session flow**

#### **Check-in (5 min)**

"How are you feeling after that session? Anything stirred up?"

This isn't a throwaway question. Give it real space. If someone needs to talk, let them.


#### **Name one avoided tension (15-20 min)**

:::warning
***This could be hard.*** Go gently but don't avoid it.

:::

"What conflict or tension has your studio been avoiding? It doesn't have to be big – small avoidances are actually great to examine."

**If no one speaks up immediately**, let the silence sit. Count to 15 in your head before you intervene. Then try:

- "Is there something you've been wanting to bring up but haven't found the right moment?"
- "Think back to the last few weeks. Was there a moment where something felt off but no one said anything?"
- "Are there any patterns from the Informal Hierarchy Check-In (Session 4) that you haven't addressed?"

**If something does come up:**

Help them practice the tools from the session:

1. **Behaviourally-specific feedback:** "What did you actually observe? What's the behaviour you can point to?"
2. **Stay on your side of the net:** "What was the impact on you? Separate that from what you think they intended."
3. **Loving Justice check:** "Is what you want to say brave? Kind? Honest? Humble?"
4. **Window of Transformation:** "Where are you right now? Where do you think the other person is? Is this a good time for this conversation?"

**If something big surfaces:**

Don't try to resolve it in this meeting. Help them decide:

- "Is this something you want to keep working through now, or does it need a dedicated conversation?"
- "Would it help to have a third party present when you continue this?"
- "What would make it safe enough to keep talking?"


#### **Review the conflict resolution template (15-20 min)**

Go through Baby Ghosts' policy together. For each section, ask:

- "Does this make sense for your studio?"
- "What would you change?"
- "What's missing?"

**Key areas to discuss:**

**Who initiates:** "In your studio, who would actually be the one to say 'we need to use the process'? Is it comfortable for everyone to do that, or would some people never initiate?"

**Documentation:** "How much documentation feels right? Too little and things get lost. Too much and it becomes punitive."

**Timelines:** "How quickly should you respond to a raised concern? What's realistic?"

**When resolution isn't reached:** "What happens if you go through the whole process and still can't agree? What's the last resort?"

**Escalation:** "Who's your third party? Another studio member? Your PS? Someone outside the program?"

They don't need to finalize a policy today. The goal is to identify what resonates, what needs adapting, and what gaps exist.


#### **Close (5 min)**

- "What's one thing you want to commit to about how you handle conflict going forward?"
- "Is there anything from today's conversation that needs follow-up before next session?"
- Remind them: Session 8 is the last session. Encourage them to use this week to address anything unresolved.


### :star: **Tips**

If no one wants to name a tension:

- Don't force it. "That's okay. The invitation stays open. Sometimes naming something takes longer. You can always come back to this."

If it gets heated:

- "Let's pause. Where is everyone right now?" (Use the Window of Transformation language.) "Is this a conversation we can have right now, or do we need to step back?"

If someone minimizes:

- "You said 'it's not a big deal' – but you brought it up. Can you say more about why it's on your mind?"

If someone deflects to structural issues to avoid interpersonal ones (or vice versa):

- "It can be both. What's the structural part, and what's the interpersonal part? Which one are you more comfortable talking about – and which one are you avoiding?"

If the template review feels abstract:

- "Think about the tension we just discussed. Would this process have helped? Where would it break down?"


### **🏁 After the session**

- Note how the tension-naming went – did something real surface, or did the studio stay safe?
- Note how they responded to the conflict resolution template – did they engage or treat it as a formality?
- If any individual seems affected, follow up with them directly
- Bring observations to your PS check-in – especially anything that concerns you about studio dynamics


## :triangular_flag_on_post: **Red flags to watch for**

- A studio that insists they have no conflicts – avoidance is not peace
- Someone who identifies a conflict but then immediately retracts: "never mind, it's fine"
- Conflict always attributed to one person – scapegoating
- Political framing used to avoid naming emotional experience (the emotional-political conflation trap from the session)
- A studio that wants the policy "just in case" but clearly has an active, unnamed conflict
- Someone who seems shut down or dissociated – check in with them privately after
- Performative agreement: "I'm fine with whatever the group decides" when they clearly aren't