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---
title: Avoiding Ableist Language
collection: Community Policies
path: Community Policies/Avoiding Ableist Language
parentDocument: null
outlineId: 76747555-761e-4215-bd31-2f39061f5345
createdBy: Jennie R.F.
---
Baby Ghosts strives to provide a space free from linguistic, physical, environmental, and social barriers.
We ask that everyone part of this community, but especially workshop leaders and speakers at our events, be:
* **Intentional** in their speech
* **Aware** of the words they use and the effect they may have on others
* **Humble** (not defensive) when corrected or questioned
It can be difficult at first to change language habits, but we are a community that values a genuine intent to include and affirm all experiences and bodies. If you realize you've said something you wish you hadn't, correct yourself and move on. You'll be afforded patience and also remind others about our commitment to eliminating ableism in our space.
The following words and phrases are often used pejoratively to oppress, other, or marginalize disabled people. Many of these words, common in casual speech, are derived from descriptions of disability. Do your best to be aware of your use of these terms, and change the language you use to avoid unintentionally hurting someone.
## Understanding Disability Models
Much ableist language stems from the **medical model** of disability, which treats disability as a problem belonging to the individual. The **social model** recognizes that people are disabled by barriers in society, not by their conditions. For example, a wheelchair user who can't enter a building isn't limited by the wheelchair -- they're limited by the stairs. This distinction matters in game development too: when we design games that exclude certain players, the barrier is in the design, not in the player.
Keeping the social model in mind helps us think critically about the language we use and the assumptions behind it.
## Common Ableist Terms and Alternatives
| Instead of | Try |
|------------|-----|
| Crazy, insane | Unbelievable, surprising, intense, wild |
| Lame | Boring, unimpressive, weak |
| Blind to ___ | Unaware of, ignoring |
| Deaf to ___ | Ignoring, dismissing |
| Dumb | Uninformed, thoughtless |
| Crippled | Broken, impaired, damaged |
| Stupid, idiotic, moronic | Uninformed, misguided, thoughtless |
| Suffers from ___ | Lives with, has, is living with |
| Spaz | Clumsy, scattered, frantic |
| Nuts, wacko, psycho | Unreasonable, absurd, out of line |
### Additional terms to avoid
* Daft
* Derp
* Handicap(ped)
* Imbecile
* Loony/loony bin
* Lunatic
* Madhouse/madman
* Maniac
* Mental (used pejoratively)
* Slow (used pejoratively)
* Psychopath/psychotic
* *anything* -tard
### Watch for overcorrection
Terms like "differently abled," "disAbled," "handi-capable," and "special needs" may feel progressive, but many disability rights activists find them patronizing or euphemistic. When in doubt, "disabled" is the term preferred by most activists and advocacy organizations.
## Affirming Language
The following terms are widely used and affirmed by disability communities:
* **Disabled** -- straightforward and preferred by most disability rights activists
* **Neurodivergent** -- refers to people whose brain functions differ from what is considered typical (includes autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and others)
* **On the autism spectrum** / **autistic** -- many autistic people prefer identity-first language ("autistic person") over person-first ("person with autism"), though preferences vary
* **Deaf** (capitalized) -- refers to the cultural and linguistic community
* **Hard of hearing**
* **Chronically ill**
This is not intended to be an exhaustive list, rather, a reference to get you thinking about casual ableism and how we might be unintentionally harming those around us.
## On Reclamation
Some of these terms have been reclaimed by disability communities. Words like **Crip** and **Mad** are used by activists as acts of resistance and self-identification. This shifts the power dynamics of the language. However, reclamation belongs to the people affected -- these terms should only be used by those who claim them for themselves. If you aren't sure how someone identifies or which terms they use, ask. Our community should reflect people's choices in how they talk about themselves.
### Resources
* If you'd like to learn more, we recommend Lydia Brown's excellent [Violence in Language: Circling Back to Linguistic Ableism](http://www.autistichoya.com/2014/02/violence-linguistic-ableism.html). The words in this glossary are excerpted from their post [Ableism/Language](http://www.autistichoya.com/p/ableist-words-and-terms-to-avoid.html).
* *A Progressive's Style Guide*, Hanna Thomas (SumOfUs.org) and Anna Hirsch (ActivistEditor.com), 2016

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---
title: Code of Conduct Procedures
collection: Community Policies
path: Community Policies/Code of Conduct Procedures
parentDocument: null
outlineId: 5770d560-d239-4601-bd17-d1eb2f8426fc
createdBy: Jennie R.F.
---
These procedures should be used to deal with *reports of unacceptable behaviour* where the complainant does not want or need to resolve the issue with the Respondent directly. The organization, however, needs to resolve it for the safety of the community. Reports can be anonymous.
## Receiving reports
### Document the initial incident report
1. Collect a written account or transcribe a verbal report.
2. Enter it in the Incident Log.
3. Report the incident to the Conflict Resolution Committee.
| Column | Description |
|--------|-------------|
| **Participant Name** | Name of the individual accused of harassment |
| **Violation** | Brief description of the harassing behavior |
| **Date & Time** | When the incident occurred |
| **Circumstances** | Context or situation surrounding the incident |
| **Others Involved** | Names of any witnesses or additional participants |
| **Complainant Conversation** | Summary of discussion with the complainant |
| *Gather this information from the complainant – do not "interview" witnesses unless they approach staff.* | |
### Support the complainant
Follow these steps to help the complainant feel safe:
1. Provide them with a private space. In Slack, this means in a DM.
2. Allow the complainant to decide if further action should be taken: "This sounds like a breach of our Code of Conduct. If you're okay with it, I am going to meet with (other co-executive director or board member/s) to figure out what our response will be." Wait for a response.
3. Let them know that we will handle the matter according to our policies and walk them through the next steps, which involve the Conflict Resolution Committee. If their complaint involves a member of that committee, the Board must be notified, and the alleged violator must be recused from the committee until the issue is resolved.
4. Let them know that they will be informed about any actions taken.
5. Make sure they know their identity will not be disclosed to anyone else – including the offender.
## Response procedures
The Conflict Resolution Committee is responsible for responding to CoC violations.
| Issue | Response |
|-------|----------|
| An interpersonal problem or dispute that is not a violation of the Code of Conduct (i.e., the offender has not engaged in any of the things listed under Code of Conduct#Unacceptable behaviour\|Unacceptable Behaviour) | Refer the complainant to the Conflict Resolution Policy and offer support in proceeding with a formal or informal report. |
| A first Code of Conduct violation has been observed or reported – but it is not severely disruptive | Warn the offender in writing and update the Incident Log. |
| A second Code of Conduct violation has been observed or reported; the violator exhibits a pattern of harassing behaviour, with or without warnings; the violator continues to harass after any "No" or "Stop" instruction | Immediately remove the offender from the space and indefinitely ban them. Update the Incident Log. |
| An offender is engaged in sustained or repeat violations of the Code of Conduct and has been warned, or the offence is severe | Immediately remove the offender from the space and permanently ban them. Update the Incident Log. |
| Anyone's physical safety is threatened | Immediately remove the offender from the space and permanently ban them. Inform Directors, stakeholders, members, and the public at your discretion, as long as it does not violate any victim's privacy. Update the Incident Log. |
> \[!tip\] Preventing retaliation The privacy and safety of the complainant is paramount. Be careful about the details you share about the incident and with whom. **Do not** share details of the people involved or the incident (outside the Committee or Directors) without express permission from the complainant.
### Committee meeting
Committee members should meet as soon as possible after a report – ideally within one week.
Before the meeting, let the alleged harasser know there is a complaint about them. Allow them to tell a committee member their side of the story, and if they do, have that person take it into the meeting.
Review the incident report and discuss the following:
* What happened?
* What are we doing about it?
* Who is doing those things?
* When are they doing them?
Neither the complainant nor the alleged harasser should attend, even if they are staff or a Director.
### After the meeting
Once it is decided what action will be taken, contact the harasser. Convey the consequences without discussing details or rationale, and say: "If you'd like to discuss this further, please contact us again, but in the meantime, you must \[x\]."
> DO NOT ask the complainant for advice on how to deal with the complaint. DO NOT offer the complainant input into penalties.
Once action has been taken, follow up with the complainant and let them know what has been done and that you are here to support them.
### Final incident report
When an issue is reported, whether it is referred to the #Conflict Resolution Procedures or considered a Code of Conduct violation, the committee members should keep the original incident report up to date, covering:
* If the offender has been warned, how did they respond?
* Were they contrite?
* Did they immediately stop the behaviour?
Document every communication from staff or committee members related to the incident, especially to third parties.
Document the date of the directors' meeting(s) and any decisions and follow-up communications related to the incident.
The Committee should follow up with the complainant, record the full details of how the incident was resolved, and prepare a report for the Board.
## About apologies
Do not ask the offender to apologize to the complainant. Baby Ghosts has no responsibility to enforce friendship, reconciliation, or anything beyond stopping harassment between members or event attendees.
We will try to facilitate an apology *if the complainant wishes*. Please see our Loving Justice page for more information about our approach to community repair.
Asking someone who has been harassed to acknowledge an apology from their harasser forces further contact with their harasser. It also creates a social expectation that they will accept the apology, forgive their harasser, and return their social connection to its previous status.
If the harasser offers to apologize to the complainant, strongly discourage it. If a staff member relays an apology to the complainant, it should be brief and not require a response.
If the harasser attempts to press an apology on someone who would prefer to avoid them or attempts to recruit others to relay messages on their behalf, this constitutes continued harassment and is grounds for permanent expulsion.
## Data retention
All initial incident reports and logs should be retained permanently, regardless of the action taken against the harasser.
Reports should be stored in an Obsidian note, and access should be shared only with Board members and Conflict Resolution Committee Committee members. The committee Chair should control access, removing and adding privileges as staff and members turn over.
Providing access and information about the records should be part of the board member, staff, and committee onboarding process.

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---
title: Code of Conduct
collection: Community Policies
path: Community Policies/Code of Conduct
parentDocument: null
outlineId: 84d19c8f-6fab-475f-97a4-cae4d3a0c9e0
createdBy: Jennie R.F.
---
As members of the Baby Ghosts community, including program participants, staff, Board members, sponsors, presenters, mentors, and partners, we commit to upholding this code of conduct and supporting the enforcement team.
## Expected behaviour
* Be aware of your power and privilege in all interactions.
* Include, support, and amplify voices from marginalized or underrepresented groups.
* Honour boundaries.
* Don't assume someone's identity, experiences, or pronouns.
* Be mindful of the space you take up in discussions.
* Graciously accept being corrected.
* Remember that the effect of what you say matters more than what you meant.
* Challenge all unacceptable behaviour. Code of Conduct Procedures#Receiving reports|Report any incidents you witness or experience.
* Take responsibility for your speech and behaviour and participate in reparative processes.
## Unacceptable behaviour
We do not tolerate harassment, discrimination, and any behaviour that is destructive, oppressive, or exclusionary. Please see Code of Conduct#Definitions|definitions for more details on what these terms mean.
## Enforcement
Under the [Canadian Human Rights Act](https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/h-6/), we are obligated to take appropriate action against any community member who **harasses or discriminates** against someone else within our organization. Staff must act immediately on observations or allegations of harassment or discrimination, and address potential problems before they become serious.
Anyone told to stop unacceptable behaviour must comply immediately.
## Reporting a violation
If you witness or are subject to unacceptable behaviour by a member of our community (whether in our spaces or outside them), please contact the Conflict Resolution Committee at [conflict@babyghosts.fund](mailto:conflict@babyghosts.fund). You may also report incidents [anonymously](https://form.asana.com/?k=K99sJAGFdDGf7fOaMJONnw&d=1200733952855099).
It is our top priority to help you feel safe as quickly as possible, and we will hold your conversation in confidence. Next, we will meet to decide our response. Then, depending on the circumstances, we will warn or remove the offender, considering your and the community's safety.
See Code of Conduct Procedures for more details on reporting violations of this code of conduct.
## Definitions
Understanding the following key terms helps clarify our expectations:
**Harassment** is a course of comments or actions that are known (or should be known) to be unwelcome. It can involve words or actions that are offensive, embarrassing, humiliating, demeaning, or unwelcome based on protected grounds identified by this code of conduct. It includes deliberate intimidation, stalking, unwanted sexual attention, following, harassing screenshotting or recording, disruption of events, aggressive, derogatory, or threatening comments, and unwanted private communication.
**Discrimination** means any form of unequal treatment based on protected grounds, whether imposing extra burdens or denying benefits. It may be intentional or unintentional. It may involve direct actions that are discriminatory on their face, or it may involve rules, practices or procedures that appear neutral, but disadvantage certain groups of people.
**Oppressive behaviour** is any conduct that demeans, marginalizes, rejects, threatens, or harms anyone based on Code of Conduct#Protected grounds|protected grounds. This includes behaviour that is racist, misogynistic, homophobic, classist, transphobic, fatphobic, xenophobic, or Avoiding Ableist Language|ableist.
**Destructive behaviour** means deleting, defacing, or destroying shared digital files or records without the express consent of all owners.
**Exclusionary behaviour** is denying specific participants opportunities to share views, skills and other contributions, engaging in favouritism, and creating or reinforcing an inequitable learning environment.
## Protected grounds
We recognize and protect against discrimination or harassment based on the following grounds, and any combination of these grounds:
1. Citizenship
2. Race
3. Place of origin
4. Ethnic origin
5. Colour
6. Ancestry
7. Disability
8. Age
9. Religion
10. Pregnancy
11. Family status
12. Marital status
13. Sexual orientation
14. Gender identity
15. Gender expression
16. Association or relationship with a person identified by one of the above grounds
17. The perception that one of the above grounds applies
## Review
Baby Ghosts will review this document on an annual basis (or as required) and will make necessary adjustments to ensure that it meets the needs of all community members, particularly the most vulnerable.
## Questions and feedback
Concerns or questions about this code of conduct and related procedures can be made to [hello@babyghosts.fund](mailto:hello@babyghosts.fund). We also welcome feedback from anyone in the community.

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---
title: Conflict Resolution Policy
collection: Community Policies
path: Community Policies/Conflict Resolution Policy
parentDocument: null
outlineId: 1be5e147-bd86-4364-9700-8fef01959937
createdBy: Jennie R.F.
---
```yaml
git-location:
updated: 2024-02-24
initially approved:
review scheduled:
```
## Purpose
Disagreements in groups are par for the course. But ignoring conflicts, or managing them poorly, can deeply harm individuals and our whole community.
Addressing conflict head-on is ***a way of caring for each other***.
Our policies and procedures around conduct and conflict are the tools we rely on to prevent harm and intervene early when things go wrong.
This policy aims to offer a straightforward, consistently enforced, and transparent approach to resolving conflicts and disputes. These issues could emerge in relation to Baby Ghosts' programs, governance, or the actions of its staff or directors.
## Who does this policy apply to?
Staff and community members must comply with the Baby Ghosts Conflict Resolution Policy and related by-laws and policies as a condition of employment, investment, or participation. Failure to cooperate may result in termination.
## What policy should be used?
| **Who Can File** | **Type of Complaint** | **Policy Reference** | **Additional Notes** |
|--------------|-------------------|------------------|------------------|
| Directors, staff, members | Informal complaints of unacceptable behaviour | Code of Conduct | |
| Directors, staff, members | An interpersonal problem or dispute that is not a violation of the Code of Conduct | This policy | |
| Directors, staff, members, public | Conflict of interest | Conflict of Interest Policy | Addressed alongside the organization's specific policy |
| Staff | Interpersonal issues | HR Policy, contact: ED | Used with HR guidelines |
| Staff | Compensation, performance, HR issues | HR Policy, contact: ED | Directly through HR procedures |
| Any party | Harassment or discrimination (OHRC) | Code of Conduct | May also pursue through Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario |
| Any party | OHSA-related harassment/violence | Workplace Harassment and Violence Policy | - |
| Directors, members, staff | Disputes with external organizations | - | Resolved per agreement's dispute resolution clause |
| Directors, members, staff | Non-compliance with conflict resolution | This policy | Non-cooperation may lead to disciplinary actions |
## Guiding principles
* Our Values apply in every interaction.
* Our skills and resources will be developed and used to resolve conflicts in a way that is Loving Justice–based whenever possible.
* All parties to a complaint will *actively participate* and strive to achieve a *collaborative* outcome at the earliest possible stage of the process.
* Information about a complaint will only be given to parties directly involved, Conflict Resolution Committee Committee members, and others on a need-to-know basis as determined by the committee.
* The parties will be provided with clear and understandable reasons for complaint decisions. All parties will be provided with updates during the review process.
* Complaints will be dealt with promptly and resolved as quickly as possible.
* Review of complaints will be fair, impartial, and respectful, allowing all parties to have their perspectives heard.
* The review of complaints will be thorough and as detailed as possible based on the information provided by the parties.
* The process will be accessible and clearly communicated to members.
This process is Baby Ghosts' responsibility. Members have the right to request a mediator if required.
## Definitions
* **Conflict** and **dispute** are ongoing experiences of tension and misunderstandings, often leading to interpersonal discord. These terms are used interchangeably.
* The Conflict Resolution Committee is a standing committee of the Board to which unresolved formal complaints are sent for review and recommendations. The Co-EDs sit ex-officio on the committee unless restricted per the responsible contact people tables. The committee will designate a staff liaison for the purpose of serving as a responsible contact person.
* A **complainant** is the individual lodging a complaint against another related individual, policy, or practice.
* The **Internal Advisor** is the Board-appointed mediator who facilitates the conflict resolution process. They work to achieve a satisfactory solution by acting as an intermediary and convening authority. The Board appoints one or more Internal Advisors annually from the Board, staff, or general membership based on their training, experience, and neutrality.
* A **respondent** is an individual against whom a complaint has been made, and/or someone responsible for the policy or activity complained about.
* **Responsible contact people (RCP)** are those who are accountable for assisting in conflict resolution and addressing formal complaints. They do not act as advocates for any party in the conflict. Their role is a neutral implementer of the policy. The assignments for this role are listed in the Conflict Resolution Procedures.
* **Support people** are individuals not connected to the conflicts or disputes being addressed, which either the complainant or respondent may choose to have in attendance at mediation meetings.
## Responsibility for implementation
This policy acknowledges and respects the governance structure of Baby Ghosts, which states that the Co-Executive Directors are responsible for operations and activities, while the Board of Directors is responsible for matters related to board policy, decisions, activities, and governance.
## Procedures
Please see Code of Conduct Procedures or Conflict Resolution Procedures.
---

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---
title: Conflict Resolution Procedures
collection: Community Policies
path: Community Policies/Conflict Resolution Procedures
parentDocument: null
outlineId: 7b8efa70-1d51-41f2-b542-a4cb3b1ddd57
createdBy: Jennie R.F.
---
We do our best to resolve conflicts at the lowest possible escalation step (direct resolution), but agree to escalate conflicts (to assisted resolution) if they are not resolved.
### Reflection
1. Set aside some time to think through what happened. What was the other person's behaviour? How did it affect you? *Distinguish other people's **actions** from your **feelings** about them.* See [Behaviourally-specific feedback](/doc/307388aa-0e4e-44ce-abe5-b98b054ac3a1).
2. Consider what uncertainties or misunderstandings may have occurred.
3. Distinguish disagreement from personal hostility. Disagreement and dissent are part of healthy discussion. Hostility is not.
4. Use your personal support system (friends, family, therapist, etc.) to work through and clarify your perspective.
5. Ask yourself what part you played, how you could have behaved differently, and what your needs are.
## Direct resolution
A *direct resolution* process occurs when individuals communicate their concerns and work together to resolve disputes without filing an informal or formal complaint.
### Have a conversation
When there is a disagreement, the involved people should first **communicate with each other** about their concerns. Both people should refer to the Code of Conduct to guide them on how to conduct themselves in resolving the dispute.
1. Choose a time and place to meet that is private and agreeable to both.
2. Allow a reasonable amount of time.
3. The point of the meeting is not to determine who is right or wrong, but rather to reach **a mutual understanding**. Achieving this requires patience and a willingness to listen to the other person's perspective without immediately dismissing it as incorrect. *Share ideas, ask clarifying questions, and respond to each other's ideas.*
4. Express your thoughts and feelings directly and without belittling or dismissing the other person's perspective. This can be achieved by using "I" statements and [active listening](https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/coaching-others-use-active-listening-skills/) techniques.
5. Communicate your **wants** and **needs** and make **offers** and **requests**.
6. During the conversation, try your best to learn how to avoid miscommunication and misunderstandings in the future. Ask questions like, "If what I/you said or did came across that way, what can we do to prevent this from happening in the future?"
7. Keep a written record of the resolution of this conversation, agreed to by both parties.
> \[!tip\] Escalating Bandwidth Whenever a misunderstanding or conflict arises, **escalate the bandwidth of the channel**. If you're on Slack asynchronous text, move to Slack synchronous text at a planned time. From synchronous chat to an audio Huddle, audio to video. *Credit:* [*Joshua Vial*](https://joshuavial.com/loomio-conflict/)
## Assisted resolution
### Informal complaints
If talking things out doesn't work, you can ask a responsible contact person for help in writing. Mention that you're making an *informal complaint* and seeking assistance.
#### Responsible contact people
| Complainant | First Contact | If First Contact Is the Respondent | Additional Steps If Needed |
|-------------|---------------|------------------------------------|----------------------------|
| **Staff** | Immediate supervisor | One or both Co-EDs | If the supervisor is both an ED and the Respondent, contact the staff liaison on the Conflict Resolution Committee. |
| **Executive Director (ED)** | Chair of the Board of Directors | Staff liaison on the Conflict Resolution Committee Committee | If the Respondents involve multiple directors, contact the Internal Advisor. |
| **Director** | One or both Co-EDs | Internal Advisor | - |
| **Member of the organization or member of the public** | Designated staff | ED | If the Respondent is the ED, then contact the Internal Advisor. |
When someone makes an informal complaint, the responsible contact person (RCP) will ask if they have tried to resolve the issue themselves and will talk to the Internal Advisor if necessary. Within two weeks of the complaint being made, the person in charge will work to settle the matter through the informal complaint resolution process. If one party refuses participation, a #Formal complaints and resolution|formal complaint may be lodged.
#### Procedure
The RCP will speak with each person separately to hear their perspectives and to review the internal direct resolution process.
The parties will be invited to attend informal meetings, negotiations, facilitated discussions, or shuttle/in-person mediation. These invitations will be extended by either the RCP, the Conflict Resolution Committee, or the Internal Advisor. It may be necessary to hold multiple meetings in cases where there are multiple complainants/respondents.
Depending on their training and neutrality, either the RCP or the Internal Advisor will act as a facilitator or mediator in the selected process.
If the chosen process results in an acceptable informal outcome for both parties, the matter will be considered resolved.
### Formal complaints
If informal resolution efforts do not result in an acceptable outcome within a reasonable timeframe or to the satisfaction of the complainant, they may file a *formal complaint* in writing.
The written complaint must include:
1. The complainant's name
2. The respondent's name
3. Detailed information about what the issue is, what has taken place, where, and when
4. Details of all prior efforts to achieve a resolution
5. The specific outcome(s) the complainant is seeking
It should be submitted to the appropriate RCP.
*Seeking external advice and expertise to aid this process is recommended.*
#### Responsible contact people
| complainant Type | First Contact | If First Contact is the Respondent | Additional Contacts |
|------------------|---------------|------------------------------------|---------------------|
| **Staff** | Immediate supervisor | One or both Co-EDs | If supervisor is Co-ED, contact staff liaison on Conflict Resolution Committee |
| **ED** | Chair of the Board of Directors | Staff liaison on the Conflict Resolution Committee Committee | If involving multiple directors, contact the Internal Advisor |
| **Director** | One or both Co-EDs | Internal Advisor | - |
| **Member of the organization, or member of the public** | One or both Co-EDs | Internal Advisor if the Respondent is the ED | - |
The RCP will acknowledge receipt of the complaint within a week and forward it to the Internal Advisor (if not self). The Internal Advisor will then proceed to:
1. Review the complaint to ensure all information is included and that enough information is present to assess the situation and respond. If not, they will let the complainant know.
2. Assess and make note of organizational by-laws, policies and codes that might have been violated.
3. If needed, seek advice from external sources of expertise.
> \[!tip\] If the complaint involves multiple complainants or respondents who are staff and/or Directors or are non-HR contract disputes, seek external legal advice.
#### Updating the complainant
Within one week of complaint receipt, the Internal Advisor will inform the complainant that they have carried out an initial review of their complaint, provide the complainant with a copy of this policy, review the direct resolution process, and communicate additional information required, including:
1. If applicable, referral of the complaint to a separate process
2. Available informal or assisted resolution options
3. That processes in relation to this policy cannot result in an award of damages or compensation to the complainant, respondent, or anyone else
4. That processes in relation to this policy may or may not result in disciplinary measures against the respondent
5. That the respondent will receive a copy of the complaint (with the complainant's name) if it is not resolved through informal resolution mechanisms
#### Procedure
##### Notice to respondent
*Offer of direct resolution* The Internal Advisor will send the respondent a written complaint disclosure once the requirements have been met and they have ensured a direct resolution process is not jeopardized.
1. A copy of the complaint
2. Supporting materials, if any
3. An assessment of organizational policies and/or codes of practice that may be engaged
4. A copy of this policy
5. A request for a response within two weeks
6. An offer to facilitate direct resolution
7. If the Respondent does not reply within one week, the Internal Advisor will notify the RCP, who will then decide a course of action with the information provided to date. They may consult with the Conflict Resolution Committee Committee, as needed.
##### Initial response to the complainant
*Offer of direct resolution* Once the respondent replies, the Internal Advisor will send the following to the complainant:
1. A copy of the response
2. Supporting materials, if any
3. An assessment of organizational policies and/or codes of practice that may be engaged
4. An offer to facilitate a direct resolution
If both parties accept the offer of direct resolution, the Internal Advisor will arrange to facilitate the process within one week. This may include such processes as informal meetings, negotiation, facilitated meetings or shuttle or in-person mediation. The Internal Advisor may engage an external mediator if required.
#### Reaching an agreement
Any resolution of a complaint that is agreed upon through direct negotiation must be documented in writing and signed by both the complainant and respondent. These "Minutes of Settlement" will be kept confidential and only shared with the Internal Advisor, Staff, Board, legal counsel, or other parties who need to know to fulfill their organizational duties.
Considerations when agreeing should include:
1. Is the agreement within the scope of the parties' decision-making powers in relation to their organizational role?
2. Is the agreement realistic and durable?
3. Does the agreement in any way compromise the organization?
4. Are there elements of the agreement that impact the organization's operations, policies, reputation, external relationships or public perceptions?
5. Does it align with our Values and commitment to Loving Justice?
#### If no agreement is reached
If direct resolution fails, the Internal Advisor will forward all documentation to the Conflict Resolution Committee for review. The Committee may seek external advice and decide on a course of action, which may include:
1. Separation of parties via work re-assignment or changing of scheduling
2. Having a meeting with each party to discuss best practices for dispute resolution
3. Directions on training
4. Implementation of organizational practice and policy changes
5. Referral to HR policies and procedures, Harassment and Discrimination policies and procedures, and/or OHSA-mandated policies and procedures for resolution
## Other redress
An individual who is not satisfied with the outcome of a **harassment** complaint process may file a discrimination complaint with the [Canadian Human Rights Commission](https://www.chrc-ccdp.gc.ca/eng).
## Acknowledgments
This work is inspired in part by the work of the Media Arts Network of Ontario led by Sheila Wilmot, January 2016.
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---
title: Behaviourally-specific feedback
collection: Community Policies
path: >-
Community Policies/Conflict Resolution Procedures/Behaviourally-specific
feedback
parentDocument: Conflict Resolution Procedures
outlineId: 307388aa-0e4e-44ce-abe5-b98b054ac3a1
createdBy: Jennie R.F.
---
> Sometimes feedback comes in very ugly wrapping – that doesn't mean there's not a gift inside.
There are three areas of understanding when two people interact:
1. Intent: Needs, motives, emotions and intentions of Person 1
2. behaviour: Tone, words, gestures, facial expressions of Person 1
3. Impact: Reactions and emotions of Person 2
At first, each person can only know two of these realities. Moving beyond the two realities you understand makes that interaction accusatory. *Stay on your side of the net*.
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What we think about others' intentions is only a hunch. And in any case, the problem is usually with a person's behaviour, not their intentions.
It is critical to be specific about behaviours, and not make judgments based on a series of behaviours (e.g., "You are dominating the discussion."). The more specificity provided, the harder it is for the other to deny the feedback.
> Behavior is something you can point to—words, gestures, and even silence are all forms of behaviour. A useful test is to ask, If people were shown a video of the interaction, would they agree they saw the same behaviours?
Recognizing the impact of someone's behaviour – that is, the emotional reaction it causes in you – is critical to the feedback process and forms the basis of influence.
### The Power of Behaviourally Specific Feedback
1. It is indisputable
2. It leads to the other party explaining their intentions
3. Focusing on behaviour avoids the problem of too much non-specific feedback being useless or destructive
4. All behaviourally specific feedback is **positive**
1. behaviour is something we can change
2. affirmative = "positive" and developmental = "negative"
5. All feedback is **data**, and more data is better than less.
1. Feedback given with the intention of being helpful is always positive
---
Adapted from *Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues* by David Bradford Ph.D. and Carole Robin Ph.D.

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title: Loving Justice
collection: Community Policies
path: Community Policies/Loving Justice
parentDocument: null
outlineId: a8328f8b-efd4-4a8f-905b-960176e27bf1
createdBy: Jennie R.F.
---
The principles of the Loving Justice framework, as developed by [Kai Cheng Thom](https://kaichengthom.com/), are deeply intertwined with the broader concepts of Transformative Justice (TJ) and incorporate a **somatic and spiritual lens** to address interpersonal and systemic conflicts.
It is a model rooted in anti-oppression and trauma-informed theory. Thom suggests that conflict is an opportunity for transformation and emphasizes the importance of compassion and curiosity for conflict de-escalation.
The framework aims to help individuals remain **grounded and mindful** during moments of crisis and high emotion, offering practical, trauma-informed tools for conflict resolution. This approach is rooted in the understanding that **justice should be an embodiment of love in public spaces**, emphasizing the need for a justice that is compassionate, forgiving, and holds individuals accountable while promoting healing.
## Practical application
To implement the Loving Justice framework during conflicts in our community, we:
Create a flexible yet grounded **spine of values and ethics** to guide the community through the conflict resolution process. This framework should be rooted in the sanctity of all living beings.
Are upfront our intersections, our **power dynamics**, and our entanglement with systems of power and control.
**Encourage honesty with oneself and others**, openly addressing questions and worries. This helps pinpoint root causes so we can find a resolution that is acceptable to all.
Use **trauma-informed tools** to help participants navigate their emotions and reactions during the conflict resolution process. This includes conversational skills, ethical evaluation of accountability processes, and somatic rituals (see next point) to release and transform conflict-related traumas safely.
**Incorporate somatic practices** such as movement, mindful breathing, engagement with the senses, expression and other techniques to help process emotions and remain present during difficult conversations. We bring these practices in *when they are helpful* and beneficial to deescalation.
Promote **a culture of compassion and forgiveness**, recognizing the suffering and humanity of every individual involved in the conflict. This does not mean letting harmful actions go unaddressed, but rather engaging in justice processes that are rooted in interdependence and collective well-being.
Implement **restorative and transformative justice practices** that focus on healing and accountability rather than punishment. This can involve community mediation, restorative circles, and other alternative justice models.
**Train community members** in conflict resolution skills, boundary-setting, and other relevant competencies to enable them to engage with conflicts and contribute to their resolution.
Develop and implement **rituals and practices** that can contain and channel collective pain, rage, and grief to facilitate community healing and safety.
Ensure that the conflict resolution process is **inclusive and centres the lived experiences of marginalized communities**, acknowledging and addressing systemic inequities that may underlie the conflict.
**Avoid solutions that rely on punitive measures** and instead focus on creating designs and interventions that prioritize community, healing, joy, and rest.
Do our best to examine points of conflict before they become bigger issues, and are kind with ourselves when conflict does arise.
Practice both listening and expressing ourselves and doing our best not to self-silence or talk over one another.
Recognize that every human has a sacredness. This does not mean we need to be friends with them or be in contact with them.
Understand that conflict has many layers, and it can be hard to see them when we are in the midst of one.
Absorb the conflicts of the world, and are intentional in not reproducing them. We also live in a world that largely bases itself on punishment, of both ourselves and others.
Recognize that no specific rules or policies can resolve every conflict. Sometimes, we must be adaptable.
Practice compassionate statements, curious questions, and firm boundaries. (from Kai Cheng Thom's workshop on "Unwinding the Trauma Conflict Web")
## Assessing solutions
When faced with a decision related to addressing a cconflict, we ask:
### Is it Brave?
* Has personal responsibility for the action been taken?
* Does the action take a stand against systemic oppression and harmful power?
* Does the action face up to the actor's personal fears, insecurities, and mistakes?
### Is it Honest?
* Has the whole story been told?
* Have conflicts of interest and power dynamics been declared and adequately neutralized?
* Have commitments and responsibilities to self and others been carried out appropriately?
### Is it Kind?
* Does the action demonstrate attention to the needs and safety of self and others?
* Does the action invite and support positive change, rather than further harm or punishment?
* Has there been respect for the inherent dignity and rights of all involved?
### Is it Humble?
* Has there been sufficient self-reflection prior to, during, and after the action?
* Is there openness to the possibility of personal error?
* Is there a willingness to be corrected when mistakes are made?
* Is the feeling of the action one that demonstrates humility?
* Is there openness to discussing and justifying the action clearly if asked?
## Transformative Justice
Transformative justice (TJ) is a political framework designed to respond to violence, harm, and abuse without creating more violence or engaging in harm reduction to lessen the violence. It seeks to address these issues outside of state systems (e.g., police, prisons) and without perpetuating oppressive norms. TJ focuses on building alternatives to current systems, breaking generational cycles of violence within communities, and cultivating values, practices, and relationships that prevent violence and promote healing, accountability, resilience, and safety for all involved.
Key principles of transformative justice include:
* **Community-Based Responses**
* TJ interventions do not rely on state systems but instead focus on community accountability and support.
* **Non-Violence**
* It aims to respond to violence without creating more violence or engaging in vigilantism.
* **Healing and Accountability**
* TJ actively cultivates healing, accountability, resilience, and safety, recognizing that interpersonal harm reflects systemic and institutional dimensions of oppression.
* **Systemic Change**
* TJ acknowledges that to eradicate interpersonal violence, systemic structures of power (such as patriarchy, racism, ableism, and colonialism) must also be dismantled.
### Origins of TJ
Notable folks in the development of transformative justice include INCISE!, Philadelphia Stands Up, and the Bay Area Transformative Justice Collective; scholars Ejeris Dixon, Mariame Kaba, Shira Hassan, and Dan Berger; Creative Interventions Toolkit; Practice Publications; and circle processes Inspired by Indigenous cultures.
References:
* [Transformative Justice: A Brief Description](https://transformharm.org/tj_resource/transformative-justice-a-brief-description/)
* [Building Your Abolitionist Toolbox](https://abolitionist.tools/Loving-Justice)
* [Transformative Justice and Community Accountability | NYSCASA](https://www.nyscasa.org/get-info/transformative-justice/)
* [What Is Loving Justice? - arise embodiment](https://ariseembodiment.org/2021/02/22/what-is-loving-justice/)
* [Transformative justice - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transformative_justice)
* [The Loving Justice Conflict Lens](https://kaichengthom.com/2021/06/21/the-loving-justice-conflict-lens/)
* [What You Need to Know About Transformative Justice, an Alternative to Criminal Incarceration](https://www.teenvogue.com/story/transformative-justice-explained)
* [What is Loving Justice? Embodying Transformative Change with Kai Cheng Thom](https://youtube.com/watch?v=O3L3ZH3sRgI)
* [Transformative Justice — The Digital Abolitionist](https://www.thedigitalabolitionist.com/transformative-justice)
* [Loving Justice: Embodied Conflict Resolution & Transformative Justice](https://youtube.com/watch?v=V4-Gg9NkJ7o)
* [The Journal of Sociology & Social Welfare](https://scholarworks.wmich.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=4694&context=jssw)
* [Unwinding Binaries & Loving Justice - Kai Cheng Thom](https://kaichengthom.com/2021/06/26/unwinding-binaries-loving-justice/)
* [How is Transformative Justice Different from Restorative Justice?](https://novelhand.com/restorative-and-transformative-justice/)
* [The Loving Justice Intensive with Kai Cheng Thom - Rooted Global Village](https://www.rootedglobalvillage.com/member-library-items/the-loving-justice-intensive-with-kai-cheng-thom)
* [Embodied Conflict Resolution: The Dance of Love and Ruptures](https://www.theembodylab.com/schedule/master-class-kai-cheng-thom-april-2023)